Try to picture a passionate office romance. Let’s invent the names of the characters involved–Bless and William. But bear in mind that the situation they’re into is quite real. Here is their complicated story:

Bless and William worked together in an interior design firm. They met when they were paired to redecorate the apartment of a couple that would be away from months. Money was no object. It was like being let loose in a candy store for them. They sketched together, waited for deliveries together and actually spent more time together than the couple who would live there ever would.

Bless and William began their affair shortly after completing “their” bedroom (perfect timing). Neither discussed it beforehand. They just knew it was going to happen. They also didn’t discuss their marriages. But one day at the company William received a phone call from his wife. It was on the speaker phone so Bless couldn’t avoid hearing her ask him to bring home disposable baby diapers. It was enough to make Bless run to the ladies’ room and cry.

Bless confronted William with her feelings of guilt and pain. He told her he was having similar emotional problems, but didn’t want to stop seeing her. They held each other in the newly renovated family/entertainment center and engaged in petting. Every time they started sharing doubts about what they were doing, they would build to such emotional peak that passionate kissing would be the answer.

When the apartment was finished and its real owners returned from abroad, pleased with the work, Bless and William were assigned to other jobs. At first, they continued to meet, if only for a drink after work, to talk about their new assignments. Soon it became clear that short of renting a “love nest” they would have to either talk seriously of separation, or stop pretending their love still had a life of its own. William was more practical. He had enough money to keep only one home and asked Bless if she was willing to leave her husband for him. After many days’ thought, she told him “no.”

William wanted to continue meeting for lunch and drinks, but it seemed futile to her.

“I guess I was naive to think that we could go on working together as if nothing had happened, but I really believed it would be fine. At first it was. We both worked hard on totally different projects so for a while we had little contact. When we would run into each other and he’d wink or touch me, when no one was looking, it was okay. Then, the first time we had to work on a project together, it was murder.”

For anyone who has been in this same position it isn’t surprising. The only surprising part is that anyone would not think ahead to the eventual end.

If you love your spouse but you’re titillated at the sight of an officemate who really excites you sexually, then, what do you do? Calm your nerves. Those lustful feelings you’re having–according to the experts–are normal. It’s what you do with them that matters. An office romance begins the moment these feelings are acknowledged and acted upon by both parties.

In the presence of an office romance, we offer the following reminders for a safe escape:

• Keep in mind that having an affair with someone you work with is a very dangerous proposition. This is someone you will have to see day after day during the affair and after it’s over. This is something onerous and heavy for your heart and mind.
• Stop pretending your affair has a life of its own. Your conscience tells you it’s a borrowed affair–an illicit one, to be blunt about it. Being married, and wanting to remain married, makes it more difficult.
• If you’re really involved in an office romance, not only should you refrain from discussing it with anyone in the office–you should deny it if asked. The person who admits romance is inviting conversation about her private life. Conversation and concern about one’s private life during business hours infringes on both time and energy owed the company and is a way of devaluing an employee’s contribution.
• Surely the employee who permits herself to become a topic of conversation and thereby causes numbers of people to focus on something other than the corporation’s work is cheating the company.
• If you are going to continue the romance, one of you should ask to move to another part of the corporation or one of you should leave the company’s employ. However, prepare for the consequences of an illicit affair–one is its inevitable sad finish.
• Offer a sacrifice. If he’s married and you’re a blessed, single soul, think of his family–his wife and children. You wouldn’t want to be a home wrecker, would you?

Turning around for a wise decision to call it quits appropriately discloses the human side of your being. A love sacrifice, after all, makes you a better, wiser person.

And in case you’re ending the romance, aren’t you glad you never discussed the delicate matter with anyone?